She Can Heal Podcast

Ep. 34 - Your Future Self Will Thank You: Building Health Habits That Matter

• Keila Aldea, LCSW • Season 2 • Episode 34

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What if I told you that prioritizing yourself isn't selfish—it's essential? In this deeply personal and powerful episode, I tackle the unspoken condition affecting countless women: the belief that we must constantly do, produce, and care for others at the expense of our own wellbeing.

Fresh from my own struggle to take a break after a busy day, I explore why women feel compelled to push through exhaustion, postpone meals, and delay rest. "There is no dirty dishes police," I remind listeners, challenging the notion that household chores somehow outrank our physical and mental health.

Drawing from compelling research and personal observations, I make the case for reimagining self-care not as occasional indulgences but as daily, fundamental habits. When we're running our batteries down to 30% capacity, everyone suffers—our families, our work, and most critically, our future selves.

The episode takes an illuminating turn when I share the story of an inspiring 70-something woman who walked miles daily and needed no medications, standing in stark contrast to peers dependent on multiple prescriptions and mobility aids. This isn't about luck or genetics—it's about consistent, intentional choices made decades earlier.

From proper hydration and protein intake to regular movement and strength training, I break down the essential habits that preserve independence and vitality as we age. Prevention, I emphasize, will always trump crisis management. Start with awareness of your current patterns, then introduce small, sustainable changes. Your body is capable of remarkable resilience when given proper care.

Mel Robbins Podcast Episode I shared. 


90-day Self-Growth Journal - A great companion you can use on your healing journey. For 90 days you will have daily prompts on the topics of self-love, self-care and gratitude.  This journal is great for beginners, novice and anyone that wants to dive deeper into their true selves.   https://amzn.to/4fk14sq

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the she Can Help podcast. Thank you so much for joining me for today's episode, and I am recording this during the week. This week I've decided that I wanted to take Saturday to just chill and do some fun. And you know what? It's a perfect timing because today I'm recording this.

Speaker 1:

On Thursday, no-transcript, went for a walk, got back in and, of course, right, dinner needs to be made, the kitchen needs to be picked up and my brain is trying to convince me that I need to just jump onto the thing. I need to start on dinner, I need to start putting stuff away and I am literally fighting, filing, fighting. These like thoughts of you know, start doing the things and saying to myself wait a minute. I literally just want to take a break because, like I work all day, I've been running around with kids all morning, you know, doing the therapy thing over here, and like your brain is tired, and so I decided no, I'm going to take, I'm going to take some time. I'm going to take some time. I made myself a cup of coffee. I said I'm going to put on some YouTube. I'm just going to like watch some YouTube videos of crafting videos, because it's something that can help me to unwind my mind.

Speaker 1:

But it's like this realization of this condition that we as women have and I know this because I talk to women you know all the time about this specific thing, about this idea that we need to, like, do all the things that we don't have time for rest, that resting means that I'm lazy, arrested. If I rest, then all these other things won't get done. And that is so real, it's so real, it's so true. And I think I'm thinking about you know, us women in different phases of our lives, because I can see this for the mom, right, the mom who is being pulled into so many directions. She has to get the kids ready in the morning. She has to pack their lunches. She has to make sure they're dressed, right, you know she comes home from work. She does have to attend to the kids, right? She has to make them dinner. She has to make sure they're getting their homework done, make sure the house is, like, tidied up.

Speaker 1:

And then I think about others who are not necessarily in their mothering years but are busy women with their careers and their businesses and things like that, and you're constantly being pulled into so many different. You know you have different time crunches and you have different pressures of projects and work obligations that you have to do. That convinces you that you don't have time to take a break. You don't have time to rest. You don't have time to do anything that's going to make you feel good, right? You're not getting time to go get a walk or get an exercise in.

Speaker 1:

I don't have time to plan a healthy meal because, you know, when we think about self-care, self-care has a lot more to do with those everyday habits that we need to do in order to take care of ourselves. Right? It's not the massages and all that kind of stuff. No, it's the meal planning, right? It's the daily walk. It's the getting enough rest or getting enough sleep. It is taking those breaks during our day. It's the daily walk. It's the getting enough rest or getting enough sleep. It is taking those breaks during our day. It's the making sure that we are getting enough water during our day. It is doing all of those important habits. That's self-care, right? That's where it really comes down to right. It's not those messages that we get, that we have to, you know, do all these, get my nails done and go to the spa with the girlfriends and go out for brunch and all of that. That's all great right, but that's not really what we truly need. What we truly need is the everyday habits that are going to help us to be healthy, to manage our stress levels, because that is so important for our overall well-being.

Speaker 1:

Doing those very important but very small habits right the going for a walk every single day. The making some time on a Saturday or Sunday to plan your meals for the week. The making sure that the night before you have your water bottle ready, that your lunch and your breakfast and your snacks are all packed up so that meals for the week. The making sure that the night before you have your water bottle you know ready, that your lunch and your breakfast and your snacks are all packed up so that you know exactly what you're going to put into your body and you're not running on. You know fumes because you didn't pack a lunch and then you're rushing to grab the nearest thing to eat. You know, and most of the time it's not healthy. Most of the time, what you're grabbing it is not healthy, it is fast food, a burger fries, sometimes it's chips, sometimes it's. You know, because we're in a crunch. Right, we didn't plan ahead.

Speaker 1:

And if you are really mindful and really thinking that this is the life that you truly want, that you really want to eat healthier and you want to make healthy choices, and, for some reason, right, something happens, that you don't plan ahead and you have to eat something that's unhealthy, you're going to be critical of yourself, you're going to feel guilty. It's not going to feel good. I know it's happened to me before and you know what. We're human, so if it happens once in a while, it is what it is right. But what we're talking about is consistent habits that we need to be doing on a daily basis in order to take care of our health. Depending on your age, right, I'm in my mid-40s. This is the time to really really zone in on my health and wellness. Why? Because it's not going to get any better and I need to prepare to be the healthiest person I can be, strongest right In my 60s and my 70s. Right, I do not want to be a frail old lady.

Speaker 1:

And today I was just listening to a podcast by Mel Robbins and she had a orthopedic surgeon. I'm going to link it in the show notes because it is a must listen to. It is information that we all need to listen to, and the bottom line, what she said was that, in that you don't have to be an old for your person, that is a myth. That is a misconception that we all think oh, I'm going to get old, I'm going to be, you know, weak, I'm going to be um reliant on people to take care of me. That is not true. What you do today, no matter how old you are, the younger the better, because you have more time. But, like she said, you can start at any time. You can start in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s.

Speaker 1:

It's never too late to take back your health and your wellness. Really, she said that it's so important to take care of yourself, to move your body, so that when you get older, you can still be strong, you can still have strength, like your muscles. There's just so many reasons why we need to really take care of our bodies. We really need to put in the work now, be really, really intentional about doing things such as going for walks, because going for walks is going to help your muscles. It's going to help you know your bones. It's going to help your mental health in so many different ways.

Speaker 1:

Right, lifting weights because you have to build muscle, you have to keep muscle on your body, because what's happened is that so many people they don't think about that. They don't think about like lifting weights to keep the muscle in my body. They think lifting weights is only for like people that want to be really fit, people that you know want to get really like tone. But you know, the truth is that in order to become a healthy and a strong older person, you need to try to keep muscle on your body and, unfortunately, as you age, your muscle mass decreases and this is why older people become very weak and they have a hard time getting up and everything. It's because they are not doing what they need to do to take care of their skeletal muscle. I'm not an expert in this area, but I will tell you this that every single expert that I listened to in the medical field any type of health practitioner, you know personal trainers, especially if they are talking about longevity it's all about building muscle so that you can stay strong and you can keep the muscle on your body so that, when you're older, you are able to do the things you need to do, like the orthopedic surgeon that was talking to Mel Robbins. She was saying you know, that's going to help you from, like, getting up from a chair, right? So she's talking about lifting weights and doing flexibility, like yoga, pilates, your flexibility like when you're brushing your teeth, standing on one leg so you can practice your balance, and all that, because all of that is going to be essential when you get older. It's going to be critical, right? You're going to be able to be independent. You don't want to be a 60 year old that can't get up from the sofa, because then you can't live on your own, you can't be independent. We are not about to do that to ourselves, right? And we don't.

Speaker 1:

I remember years ago I used to translate for a Hispanic senior center and so they had me come in and they had me. They were doing a fall prevention program with Hispanic older Americans, and so these older people were coming, like in their 60s or 70s, and one of the things that really stood out to me was how many of them depended, like they had so many medications, you know. So the doctor, nurse would say what are your medications? They would pull out this bag of, like you know, five, six, seven, eight bottles of medications for all kinds of different, you know necessities, right, and they were in canes and they could hardly walk.

Speaker 1:

And I remember there was this one old lady. She was that like I can, I can picture her in my head so much because she was exactly what I say today I want to become. She's in her 70s, she had no medications and she had no cane. She was vibrant, she was energetic and while everyone else was walking you know, in case they were overweight, right, they had all these health problems she lived about, I'm going to say, about a mile and a half from where we were located and she said I walk. She says I walk here, I walk there.

Speaker 1:

And I was so astounded by that because here we are, we might've, we might've worked with, I don't know, maybe 15 seniors and all of them, and it was really like so sad, because then you start thinking that that's the only way, right, that's what I'm, that's what we're expected, right. And so me, especially being a Hispanic woman and seeing Hispanic seniors, you start saying, oh my God, that's going to be me in the future, right, because you don't know any better. I think at the time I was probably in my 20s and so I'm like, oh my God, this is so depressing. I do not want to be like that, like I don't want to depend on medications. And then you see this senior over here who just walks in. She's energetic, she's walking everywhere, she's not taking any medications, and I remember I was like that is what I want to be when I am her age.

Speaker 1:

I want to be just like her and the truth is I have all the control you have all of the control to do that right and it really takes you have all of the control to do that right and it really takes intentional, focused energy into your health and wellness. That means that it is what you put into your body right. It is moving your body on a daily basis. Your step count does matter. There's so much evidence of how impactful taking enough steps in your day does for you in so many different ways, how healthy it is for you, for your health, how healthy it is for your mind. There's so many benefits of that right.

Speaker 1:

It's drinking enough water, because our body is it's about 60 to 70% water and if you're not drinking enough water, then your body's really having a really difficult time of doing what it needs to do. Like your brain is like 70 or 80% water right. Your blood, your heart, your lungs and you're just putting yourself in a disadvantage when you're not at least doing something as simple as just getting enough ounces of water. And I know for many this is not a habit that we naturally form right. But once you learn how important it is to just do those basic self-care habits right, which is making sure that you're eating enough protein for your body size, us women we need to eat more fiber, which we really don't do enough of.

Speaker 1:

I know that it wasn't until I started tracking my fiber that I realized, right, and it's whole fruits right, whole like fruits, vegetables, right. And it's whole fruits, right, whole like fruits, vegetables right. All those types of whole foods is what we need to eat so that we can get that fiber, so it can help our gut health. Right, it helps us to digest food more easily. You know, it's like really being very mindful of staying away from a lot of processed and high sugar foods, you know. So it's really being mindful. All of these things, all of these habits, these just very fundamental habits, is what's going to help us become a healthy and vibrant senior, right? You don't have to be a frail old person suffering from all kinds of diseases.

Speaker 1:

It really comes down to the choices that you're making now and resting and giving yourself your breaks and making sure you're sleeping enough and making sure that you're eating at least 70, 70 to 80%. You know, healthy, whole foods, and I know it's depending on how you were raised. I know I wasn't raised to eat like this, like I had, you know, rice and beans and fried chicken all the time, because that's just what we Puerto Ricans eat, right. But now we've learned that eating too much of those foods is not good for you. And you know, like I look at a lot of my ancestors, right.

Speaker 1:

I look at all of the adults, like older adults in my family, and most of them are just sick, right, a lot of them are sick. They're they're um medication for blood pressure, they're diabetic, um, you know they. They hardly can't move, um. You don't see them going for walks on the street. You see them with canes. You see them sitting on sofas all day and it's just what they know. But now we know more. We know more information, we know better. We have to do better and we have to do better so that we can feel better and feel our best to do better so that we can feel better and feel our best. And so, again, this is the reminder that you know what you don't always have to be just doing, doing, doing.

Speaker 1:

You know, like um the doctor, that she, that Mel Robbins interview, made a great point. She says there is no dirty dishes police. Right, there's nobody that's going to come arrest you or fine you if you decide that you're going to go for a walk before you go and do the dishes. Right, there is no one that's going to. You know, you're not going to get in trouble because you didn't do that load of laundry, because you were really, really tired and fatigued and you just needed to go to bed a little earlier today. That doesn't exist, right? It exists in our mind. It exists in our mind that these things need to get done right. And how are they more important than you? How are they more important than your health and your well-being? No, that doesn't make sense. The dishes are not more important than you, right? The laundry is not more important than you. You right, the laundry is not more important than you. Right that the laundry is going to be there when you come back from your walk or the.

Speaker 1:

You know the dinner is might be just, you know, a little later, but if you're exhausted from working all day, like I am, I'm going to give myself this break. I'm going to give myself this time to just sit and do something. That's going to just like help my mind to just be more relaxed, versus trying to push myself to do the things. You know, and you know what that might just mean, that a habit that I might have to do you know you can think about it for yourself is how can I make my evenings more easier on me? You know, maybe it's I just have to cook a lot of the proteins, the meats, and keep them in the refrigerator. So during the evenings, all I have to do is, you know, do the sides or the carbs, and that cuts the time in half. Right, that might mean that maybe I'm going to buy some pre-made foods and keep them in the refrigerator once in a while. It doesn't have to be every day. But you know, like, what can I do? It's almost like that whole like delegating, right, I don't have to do it. All I can delegate. I can hire someone to, you know like, maybe get one of these meal services to just deliver meals to you, if that's what helps you, or maybe it's asking for help, but a lot of times it's us.

Speaker 1:

It's the thoughts, right? It's these beliefs that I have to do it all. It's these beliefs that the house has to be spick and span. It's the belief that everything has to be done a certain way and no matter if I don't have time to eat, it don't matter if I don't have time to rest, it doesn't matter if I don't have time to do something fun just for me, right? Because I feel guilty that the house is not you know the way that it should be, or that there's dish God forbid, there's dishes in the sink. Or you know, like I didn't get to like fold it away and put away my laundry. You know, like I didn't get to like fold it away and put away my laundry, you know? Or I didn't create these like big extravagant. You know dinners Guess what? Most of us are not stay at home moms, right? If you're a stay at home mom and that is like your main job, then I'm sure that you have more than enough time to do that. But most of us are working, most of us are going to school, most of us are running businesses. Most of us are doing a lot of other things and we're not just here all day long.

Speaker 1:

This is just a little reminder that take care of yourself, that make time for you. We talk about this whole filling your cup and the truth is that if you are running on zero, right, let's think about it as a battery. Right, it's saying to yourself where is my battery? Right, and if you're under 50, then you need to stop and you need to recharge. You need to recharge right, why you keep going when you're like at 30%. Does that make any sense? You're running on fumes, right, give yourself the space to recharge yourself. Check in with yourself Where's my battery right now? If my battery, if I know that I function my best when I'm like that 80%, then I'm going to make sure that I'm doing things to constantly plug myself in and recharge and guess what Things will be.

Speaker 1:

On pause for a little bit. That's okay, right, the dishes they will get done. Maybe not right now, but they will get done. And that's okay. The dinner it might be just a little later, because maybe I'm at like 40% right now and I need to give myself a little bit of time to just, you know, take care of me. Maybe I noticed that I really didn't eat much today, so today I'm going to make myself, I'm going to make a little bit of time and I'm going to prepare something so I have it for tomorrow. Maybe I am going to just, you know, go to bed a little earlier if I've had a really tiring day.

Speaker 1:

Right, it's understanding that. That isn't taking away from you as a person, right, it doesn't make you less than it doesn't make you a less than mom, less than wife, less than person. It makes you human. Right, that is human. I know I work with women that struggle with this. They tell me, no matter if they're in their prime mothering years, if they have teenagers, no matter what it is, we all struggle with this. We struggle with taking time to pour into ourselves so that we are, like, doing our best, we're feeling our best, we have enough energy to do all the things that we need to do. Right, because how can you be the best mom you can be if you are literally struggling? You're hanging on by a thread, right? No, that's not going to be helpful to your kids, it's not going to be helpful to your family, right?

Speaker 1:

It's really taking back the power of taking care of yourself and saying to really like reminding yourself and the beliefs and the thoughts that kind of come up for you, reminding yourself that, hey, listen, I'm not good right now. I'm not feeling good right now, I am tired, I've got too much on my plate and I need to take it down a notch. Right, and it's okay. It's okay, actually, it's necessary. Rest is necessary. I'm going to tell you that right now, right, not just sleep. That is essential, right, making sure you're getting your good seven to eight hours of sleep is essential, right, making sure you're getting your good seven to eight hours of sleep is essential.

Speaker 1:

But I'm talking about the rest in between. I'm talking about getting yourself off of autopilot and saying I'm going to sit and have a lunch break and I'm just going to sit here and eat my lunch. Or I'm going to go for a walk, a 15 minute walk for a break, or even 10 minutes, or I'm just going to sit here and give myself a two minute break in between tasks. I'm just going to close my eyes, I'm going to just breathe. Maybe I'm going to do some stretches, whatever it is, and I'm just going to just be. Maybe I'm going to go get myself a cup of water, I'm going to make myself a coffee or a tea and I'm going to literally just sit here and I'm just going to drink the tea or whatever it is that you need in that moment to recenter yourself, to rest and give yourself that little bit of time.

Speaker 1:

It is essential, it is absolutely essential. So that is the message that I have for today. It is the message because you know what I'm living it I'm right there with you Right it's reminding ourselves and really pushing through those really like beliefs that are trying to convince you that it's not okay to just take a break. Take a break that you have to do this right now, that you can't go for a walk because you need to start dinner, that you can't do this or you can't do that, or, if I'm going to take the afternoon off, or I'm going to sleep in a little later on Saturday, I'm going to go to sleep a little earlier today. All of that is necessary. All of that is needed, and you know what. All of that is necessary. All of that is needed, and you know what.

Speaker 1:

The most successful people, the people that actually you know, do the best. Unfortunately, those are the people that get sick, right, because too much stress it does affect your immune system, right, it lowers your immunity and you get sicker more. I've seen this. People that I see that have a really, really difficult time in controlling their stress, their anxiety. Those are the people that are constantly like getting really sick. They're getting viruses, right, they're always sick, you know, and the truth is that you have to take care of your body, right, you have to take care of how you're functioning so that your body can do its job. How can your body help protect you from diseases if you're not even treating it right? Right, you're not giving it the food that it? Right, you're not giving it the food that it needs. You're not giving it the rest that it needs, you're not hydrating like it needs to. And then you expect to feel good, you expect to feel happy and stress-free. No, it doesn't work that way. Right, first you take care of your body, you take care of your mind, then your body will do what it needs to do. It will function the way it needs to function. But it's not going to happen if you are not taking care of it. Right Prevention, right.

Speaker 1:

Don't wait until something bad happens. Don't wait until, like you become pre-diabetic or diabetic in order to then say I need to, like, change the way that I eat. Don't wait until, like you start having you know, like issues like medical issues um, high blood pressure, injuries and things like that to say, oh, you know what I need to do better with my health. I need to sleep more, I need to do more exercise so that my body's a lot more healthier. No, don't wait until something bad happens Um, lot more healthier. No, don't wait until something bad happens before you start making positive changes. Take the stand that I am, which is I want to be a healthy, strong, vibrant senior, and the way I'm going to do that is by the habits that I'm doing today. Right, it's that I'm going to exercise, I'm going to make sure that I drink enough water, I'm going to make sure that I'm not eating as much processed and fried food and all of that.

Speaker 1:

Listen, we're human. We're going to do it from time to time, but, honestly, it's what you do on a consistent basis that makes the difference. If, every day, you're eating a good you know, mostly clean diet, you're going to be okay. Right? If, on a Friday, you go out for pizza or whatever. That's not going to completely destroy your health and wellness, but if you do that every single day, you're going to have problems.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so it's just reminding you that you have the power to take care of yourself, to take care of, to make time for yourself, to do the things, to take the breaks that you need so that you can feel your absolute best and take care of all the people that you need to take care of in your life. But the truth is that we need to really prioritize ourselves. Put yourself on the top of the to-do list, not on the bottom, not in the huh, maybe I'll get there. No, it's saying me first, because when I say me first, I'm going to feel good and I'm going to be more able to take care of my kids. I'm going to have more energy to cook and to clean and to like take them here and there and to enjoy myself and to not be so stressed and burns out.

Speaker 1:

I promise you that if you put yourself first, you are not being neglectful to anyone else except yourself, right? I'm not saying put yourself first and ignore and let everything else go. No, I'm saying make sure that you're doing what you need, make sure you're getting good rest, make sure you're feeding yourself good, make sure you're doing all the things you need so that you can feel your best, because everyone in that's around you, right? Your family, your circle is going to benefit so much more and you're going to be a so much better human being. You're going to feel better, you're going to function better and, I promise you, you are definitely not going to ever regret doing anything good for you.

Speaker 1:

Believe me, even when you're like, force yourself to like I'm going to go for this walk, because I know that I really haven't walked much today when you come back, I don't know how many people regret going for a walk. You know I don't know how many people regret cooking that you know that healthy meal, right? Those are not the things you're going to regret. You're going to regret not getting enough steps today, right. You're going to regret skipping the gym to. You know, to work You're going to. Those are the things we regret, right? You will never regret the positive habits that you can do every single day. So I hope that this message truly, truly, truly inspires you to even like, start taking those small steps you know to even just like.

Speaker 1:

I would say, you know, start with awareness, like notice what, how am I living right now, how, what are the habits that I'm doing right now, you know, so that you can start to then identify. All right, I'm not doing good with my diet right now and you know what. I'm going to start taking those baby steps and I'm going to just start incorporating. Maybe it's every day I'm going to at least eat one vegetable, or every day I'm going to start and just do a 10-minute walk, Whatever it is. Just become curious and aware of your daily habits, how you live in your life, so that you can start making positive changes in small, manageable ways. Believe me, it is very manageable, it truly is.

Speaker 1:

Again, a lot of the things I talked about. It is not anything special that we have to do. It is taking back power over ourselves, but it starts with us. Like, literally, you have to make the conscious decision to say I care about myself so much that I'm going to start taking care of myself. I'm going to start taking care of myself.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to start doing these small little habits because I don't want to be a frail person that depends on people to take care of her or that depends on all these medications to take care of them. That depends on insulin shots, blood pressure medicine, that I can't walk, I can't go up the stairs, I can't do any of that, because then you have a very low quality of life. We don't want that. We don't need that. So that's what I'll leave you with today, and I hope that this message resonated with you and also, like, share this episode. Like, if you know someone that really needs to hear this, needs this message, like, hello, start taking care of myself. Like, it doesn't take a lot, share this with them and I hope that I will talk to you next week. Take care.